New Year’s Schmesolutions

The thing about New Year’s Resolutions is that you allegedly actually have to do them.

They are the best laid plans of mice and moms.  I never, ever follow through for more than, oh, I don’t know, a day.

I’m so bad at them that I actually did write a blog post  about them on January 17th and never actually posted it.

So, here is the only draft from my draft file.  I wanted it to be serious and I wanted it to be my “putting it out there” so I would feel pressure to keep my resolutions.  Today, almost 7 months into the year I just find it a funny testament to my stick-to-it-tivity (or the lack thereof.)

New Years Schmesolutions.

I make them every year.  This year I decided that I would make resolutions that improve my quality of life.  I figure if I’m not in deprivation mode I will be more likely to keep them.

Take more pictures.  I love my camera and I love taking pictures.  I really, REALLY, want to transform this from a wish to a real hobby.  Dare I say enthusiast?  I promised myself that I would take pictures every day.  When I stopped laughing I altered that to one meaningful photo shoot every week.  I would play with the subjects, settings and light.  I would use my tripod and learn what every accessory that my husband gave me for Christmas does and become adept at their use.  I also promised myself that I would NOT have 52 poodle photo shoots by the end of 2012.

I will write more.  I knew that I could not write blog entries every day because I do so many edits.  I would have to spend 5 or 6 hours every day writing.  OK, here’s an edit:  I would have to spend 10 – 12 minutes writing and THEN 5 or 6 hours obsessing over what my “twelves” of readers would think of what I wrote.  I can’t possibly do that because I have too much really important crap to do.  Things don’t get pinned to my Pinterest boards by themselves, you know.

I will start writing  my books.  Yes, I have four books in my head.  Two are children’s books and the other two are completely opposite of one another.  The first is a really sad book about a woman taking care of a terminally ill parent with dementia.  The other is a series of stories from the life of a middle-aged housewife which includes funny caricatures based very loosely on some of the crazy people I have encountered in my own life.

Cook more healthily.  Healthily? Is that even a word?  I want to make yummy nutritious food for my family.  I don’t want to go on my 45th January diet.  Go ahead, do the math:  I’ve been dieting since I was about five.  I want to make changes that matter and that last.  So far so good.  We haven’t had any fast food meals or crappy, slapped together meals and it’s January 17th so I feel pretty proud of that.

I joined a gym.  $19 to join and $19 a month for a year.  So far I’ve had one $38 workout.  I worked out for 35 minutes so that makes my gym membership roughly just over a dollar a minute.  Wow, that’s expensive.  I must look fabulous after such an expensive workout.  Maybe I should stop avoiding a mirror and check out my newly chiseled form.  Or I could actually go to the gym a little more often and accept my slowly changing body.  Whaterr.

Create things.  I love creating things. I promised myself I would craft and sew more.  I get a crafter’s high just thinking about making stuff.  So far this year I’ve created… Oh.  Well, I’ve pinned lots of great ideas on my “boards” on Pinterest so I’m creating in my head.  Which is where I’m writing.  Maybe I should workout there, too.  I could’ve saved a bunch of money.

I suppose it’s a good thing that I’m not following through on my resolutions.  I’d be thin, fit, creative, accomplished and have a fascinating life.  You’d prolly hafta hate me.

Maybe since I seldom follow through for more than a day I should call them New Day’s Resolutions.  Hey, maybe I’m onto something!  I could make shiny new resolutions each and every day, knowing that I would only have to keep them for a day!  I would live my own Ground Hog Day – the movie, which was cute, not the holiday, which is lame-tarded.

Hmmm… I will “cogitate” on that concept… perhaps for blog posts that I am now resolved to write  immediately and every day, forever.